i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I take back everything I said about communal showers
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
