that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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