I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
