there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Randomize