There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
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