at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I FOUND THE LEGS
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
