I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
