Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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