Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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