Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
