we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
