I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
