I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Randomize
