I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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