Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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