Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
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