i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I understand Curling. That high.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
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