you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
