I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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