So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize