do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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