love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Randomize
