My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
