He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Randomize
