Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
