how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
