i don't plan on having that self control this summer
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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