I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I think my fart just growled at me.
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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