I'm going to jail i love you
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
You smell like a Billy Joel song
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Help me help you realize you are a moron
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
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