dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
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