my shit smells like andre
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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