It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
You work out of a Hotel?
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Randomize
