I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
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