whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
