I just threw up on my dentist
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
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