You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
