??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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