We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
