I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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