it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
We need to rekindle our bromance
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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