based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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