he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
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