that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
