Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
the condom got lost in my hair
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Randomize
