I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
farters have to be the big spoon...
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
