Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
