Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
