I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
