im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
