HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
