you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
