I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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