Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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