OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Randomize
