Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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