there was a trapeze. enough said
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Randomize
