Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
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