I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
