If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Found the puke drawer
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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